• I fought an asura warrior the other day, and my shins are KILLING me!
  • Why can't you borrow money from a dwarf? Because they're always a little short. Ha! Get it? Ha ha! Ah, yes, I miss dwarves.
  • What do you say when an asura praises you? No one knows yet. (chuckle) Right?
  • Here's a funny story. Recently, one of my vassals said to me, "Your Majesty! I can't feel my legs!" And i replied, "Of course, you can't, stubby. I cut your arms off!" And I had! (laugh)
  • What do you call a sylvari who's round and green? MELON-y! You know, like the name, but also the fruit? Why aren't you all laughing? The, the melon, Melony...Laugh! Of I'll kill every last one of you humorless worms!
  • Were you aware that grawl have engineers? It's true. I hear one of them invented a new gadget called a "stick."
  • It seems the sylvari are here to stay. As no one has nipped them in the BUD, I must assume they're all of good STALK. Maybe they'll GROW on me. (laugh) Plant puns, people, please!
  • I paid a visit to Ascalon before coming here, and I'm not judging-but did shaving go out of style or what?
  • At the Durmand Priory, what is an asura's best friend? A bookah.
  • I hear-oh, this is a good one-I hear the mortality rate for hylek is very high. They croak every night! (laugh)
  • What's the fastest way to anger a norn? Tell her you've never heard of her. Ahhh, it's funny because it's true. (laugh)
  • Sylvari are certainly naive. They'll be-LEAF anything they hear! (laugh)
  • What's a norn's favorite drink? The next one! (laugh) They're all drunk.
  • The other night, a charr warrior told me everything he knew. It took about ten seconds.
  • I was confused when a servant informed me of the dredge revolt in Shiverpeaks. As far as I'm aware, dredge have always been revolting! Get it? Ugly bugly! Hoo! (laugh) They're ugly.
  • Two quaggans were walking in a cow pasture. The first turns to the second and says, "Foo." The other replies, "Cows say moo." The first looks down at his flippers and says, "No, foo. Poo." (snicker)
  • I'm so disappointed that the dwarves have disappeared. I had so many good jokes about short things. And beards.
  • I wanted a sylvari court musician for a while, but I gave up on the idea. I'm told their music is too SAP-py! It's really wasted on you.